I have been taking opportunity to sit and meditate on the great and mighty things the Lord has been doing in my heart the past few weeks. I want to put it down in words and yet the words are not there. There is so much I want to share that my mind keeps jumping from topic to topic. To think it all began with a heart in despair, a heart literally in anguish over a rebellious strong willed child. While there is still what seems to be a long way to go with said child, I know God can do miracles and work in hearts in ways I cannot comprehend. That is where it all began. Looking back, I am thankful for the anguish and heartache. It drove me to a point where I had to make a choice. I had to choose to surrender to God and let Him work His will or I had to give up and spend the rest of my days angry and bitter (after all, why would God give me such a challenge? Doesn't he know I can't do this?). God began to place in my path some very special friends a while back whom I felt I could confide in and drop my guard with. They were constantly reminding me God's Words concerning the trials I was facing. Slowly the anger and bitterness started disintegrating. Not only were these friends sharing Scripture with me, they were taking my burdens to the cross right along with me. The still small voice of the Lord began nudging me. He wasn't angry. He was simply nudging me. I began waking up in what some would call the "too early hours" to read and meditate on passages my friends were passing along to me. I would also sing and give praise as well and began to read the book Discipline: The Glad Surrender by Elisabeth Elliot. (I chose to read this book because in our TLC (The Ladies Connection) group at church we are studying the topic of discipline and discipleship.) I would spend 2 hours or more doing this and the time would go so fast. It was so quiet and peaceful with the family still sleeping. I began to notice the struggles, while still present, didn't seem so overwhelming. I also began to see my need to really focus on discipline for myself. The major disciplines I am focusing on right now are concerning my physical being and my emotional being. You know, the gluttony and the "given to anger" stuff. It is such a relief to be surrendered to discipline. Such a relief to that God knows my weaknesses and has my best interest at heart if I am willing to walk through any valley or climb the high places with Him. It truly is indescribable!
Lamentations 3:22-23
It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
1 comment:
Ruth, I so love your transparency in this post. I will be praying for you on your weight loss journey.
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