Indescribably Blessed

Today's blog has nothing to do with weight loss.  In fact, I was so busy last Friday getting ready for couples retreat that I failed to even weigh in.  We ate like royalty while at the couples retreat so I do not dare to weigh until this next Friday.  What I am blogging about today is something that the Lord has been encouraging me with in my devotions.  I am just bubbling over with joy and desire to share this.

The past few months Ephesians 5:15-33 has been the focus of my heart.  (Passage found here: Ephesians 5:15-33)  I have read this passage numerous times of late and it just speaks to me in so many ways.  This passage just brings to light that Christ desires for us to live constantly under the influence of the Holy Spirit.  It means letting His mind influence us in all aspects of our lives.  It means confessing all known sins.  It means dying to self.  It means surrendering to God's will.  As I have pondered this in my heart, I began thinking about every thing in life that I am responsible for.  I am sharing things from my notes the past few months as I write this blog.

As a wife, what does this passage look like?  It means I first seek Christ.  It was Christ who allowed John and my paths to cross, allowed us to be good friends, and then marry.   It means that I pray for my husband to first seek God and to desire God's will in his life.  It means that I pray for my husband because he has committed to meeting our needs as a family and the workplace can at times be challenging. It also takes on the form of serving.  I am his wife by God's design.  That is so amazing to me and as his wife, I get to fulfill certain desires that God has created my husband with.  It took me a while to accept the fact that my husband has a servant's heart.  I used to let it be a wedge in our marriage.  But the Lord began softening my heart many years ago and He began to show me that my husband finds great pleasure in serving.  He loves to take on physical challenges at our church, help fellow church members, and reach out in service to even those who are not of like faith, in hopes of being a light to them.  Sure, it may mean I have to change my plans at times, but that is all a part of letting Christ's mind dwell in me.  Couples retreat was such a blessing...what our speaker talked about was exactly what I had been studying and it makes me smile when God works like that. 

As a mother, what does that look like?  It means that I first seek Christ.  It was Christ who allowed John and I to adopt our two children.  It means that I pray for my children to desire God's will in their lives.  It means that I have to work very hard to control my anger at times...and at times I fail and let anger overcome me.  God knows this and welcomes my contrite heart when I come to Him for forgiveness and then go to my children and ask forgiveness.  I really struggle with "love suffers long and is kind" verse in the Bible at times...but when I remember how patient God is with me, it makes it so much easier to show the same to them.  It means that as a homeschool mom, my home is often a mess because school is everywhere.  It means that often times my list is changed because of things that come up and I need to see it as God redirecting my life and reminding me that I am not the one actually in control.   I know I can't be a Godly mother apart from a close walk with Christ, so for now my prayer is to strive to live every day like that...in surrender to and dependence on Him.

As a friend, what does that look like?  It means that I first seek Christ.  It was Christ who has blessed me with friends, some very close who know my deepest desires and others who just encourage along the way.  I admit that having friends isn't easy for me.  It seems that as soon as I develop a close friendship, something happens and that friend is not longer there....they move away, they make choices that remove them, or I move away.  It hurts when that happens.  I don't like to hurt.  I am not one that readily opens my heart to people because I always feel inferior.  But God is dealing with me in that area too.  I was sharing this with my friend in Wyoming the other day and she shared this with me:  "Just as in marriage, every productive and solid Christian relationship is based on giving, not getting. Agape is giving without looking to receive. If we view all relationships this way, we never lose a thing. If we hesitate because of fear, we lose. It is another way we deny self...really, the more a person is growing in Christ, the more dying-to-self- opportunities become obvious which were not seen before."  I loved this because it made it so clear to me.  I just need to leap and trust. 

I could go on...I have been learning so much.  Growing in ways I never thought I would grow, becoming more tender to Christ's love for me.   It took having a child that is very strong willed to force me to look to Christ and I have no regrets with that.  That same child's behavior has brought a sweet friend here locally into my life to guide and encourage me when I had felt so alone in this journey.  God has a way of knowing just what we need and blesses in His perfect time. 


By the way, have you read Romans 8 lately? You totally should. It will knock your socks off! I cannot read it without realizing how indescribably blessed I am!