Sustaining Grace

Fourteen years ago this date I was preparing my heart to go to a court hearing the next day where I would watch as our children's birth mom stood before a judge to willingly terminate her parental rights. I wasn't sure of what to expect but I knew I needed to be there to let her know that I was strong enough to have the courage to be there with her. Little did I know the courage these next 14 years would require "to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God" (Micah 6:8) in the parenting realm. But God did know how much courage we would need, and in His love for us He writes the joy and challenges of our lives one page at a time. It is in this journey that I have come to realize that it is in dealing with the daily grind that God has challenged me to love Him “with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength, and with all my mind.” (Luke 10:27)  

It is through parenting that I have realized how imperfect I am and how much obedience is so much more a matter of heart than will.  Paul David Tripp in his book Awe: Why It Matters for Everything We Think, Say, and Do says it this way: “You cannot threaten, manipulate, or guilt a person into obedience.  Only grace can produce this joyful submission in me. Only grace can give me back my awe of God.  Only grace can transform me from a worshiper of self to a worshiper of God. Only grace can motivate me to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord until I have exited my little government of one and given myself to the work of something vastly bigger than me. The law cannot motivate me to obey the law.  In our disobedience, we don’t first have a law problem; we have an awe problem.  Awe of God will produce willing submission to His will, and lack of awe of God will lead me to step over His boundaries.”

So as I sit here thinking over the road marker in my journey that happened one day shy of 14 years ago, I give thanks for His wisdom in knowing the exact amount of courage I would need to continue in His plan for me.  God’s grace is indeed a sustaining grace, that is rich in mercy and this is exactly where I need to be to experience that in fullness.