Yesterday was not a good day. I was constantly battling self and by
bedtime I was completely spent physically, emotionally, and
Spiritually. Plus, I had skipped lunch and my healthy snacks for the
day so that I could feast on an 11 oz bag of of Mega M&M's. I
cried several times through the day because I just could not get control
of my emotions. I felt ugly, both inside and out. I could only focus
on the "I will never be able to lose all this weight so why even try"
thoughts. I was struggling to focus on my morning's devotions and quiet
time...and if I had surrendered to them the battle would have been
over. But alas, I am stubborn sometimes. I didn't want to admit that
all I had to do was let it go and give it back to the One who knows my
struggles and waits patiently for me to listen. After supper I told
John I needed to just go and refocus. I ended up at Target browsing the
clearance sections of the store. Clearance racks are very therapeutic
for me. I didn't find much but I was no longer thinking about myself. I
left the pity party somewhere between the healthy and beauty section
and the cleaning supplies section. When I got home, I was able to
surrender it all back to my God. I slept so well I had 100% sleep
efficiency according to my Fitbit. That has NEVER happened. I didn't
move even once! It was awesome!
All that to say this.
There are going to be hard days. We will face days where we are our
own worst enemy. God is still faithful, even during those times.
O we never can know
What the Lord will bestow
Of the blessings for which we have prayed,
Till our body and soul
He doth fully control,
And our all on the altar is laid.
Is your all on the altar of sacrifice laid?
Your heart does the Spirit control?
You can only be blest,
And have peace and sweet rest,
As you yield Him your body and soul.
Elisha A. Hoffman, 1905
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