Time to Pull Up the Weeds Again....

Your choices reveal your heart.  Sadly, the past few days I have found myself battling with anger and when I think about how I have given into that anger a few times the past few days, it makes me ache to think that my heart is angry.  Yesterday I was so pricked with this thought that I was finding myself bursting forth with tears at just about every turn in the day.  Thankfully Jack had gone to my folks to shoot his BB gun and Maddie was at riding lessons for a couple hours so I could be alone in my own home and just have some one on one time with my Bible and my God.  Being a homeschool family, it is very rare that I have ever been alone in my own home every since our kids arrived on the scene.  I know that other homeschool moms can relate to that.  However, I also know that it is only for a season in life and I am told that one day I will miss this time....HEE HEE 

So why all the anger?  I had to really think about this.  Yes, I am getting older which means hormones are changing and while I have never been "regular," I am even more off schedule now.  I am sure that is a small part of this but in the bigger picture, I know I am struggling with my own heart.  I have felt very impatient because of some slow progress in some areas...both in my life and in some attitudes of my family.  The strife in my heart has been building...and in the process have failed to remember that God is a God of purpose.  I need to let Him work in His time in order to send the anger sailing from my heart.  Anger is the fruit of bad roots...and sometimes those roots require a lot of digging deep to get to them.  Digging deep to take care of the bad root is painful, but it’s the only lasting way I can take care of the problem. There are two choices.  I can either suffer positively, doing what’s right or I can go with the devil's plan. I need to remember that the same devil who tempts me to follow my human feelings will later condemn me for doing it. It is basically summed up this way:  I need to choose if I am going to make this better or bitter.  I must decide if I want the change that will take me to a peaceful place or to keep my anger and try to hide it while it's rotting inside me. I need to realize that my choices will affect others.  When I allow anger in my heart, I am preventing God from doing His work in and through me.  I also need to realize that to choose the right path will require more than my own strength. 

Ecclesiastes 7:9 " Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools."