Pick Yourself Up and Go Go Go!

This past week has had a lot of ups and downs with staying on track.  I have literally had to say "no" out loud to myself when I was wanting to gorge myself with food.  I slipped up a couple times and then yesterday (Thursday) I was completely out of control.  I ate stuff I haven't eaten in a couple months.  The food consisted of 2 handfuls of M&M, Voortman's Vanilla wafers (something like 20 of them...I didn't keep count), ice cream, pizza (4 pieces!  UGH), an Icee, and probably more that I am not recalling.  Last night I felt so guilty for not considering this disobedience as sin.  I felt horrible physically as well.  This morning when I got up, I forced myself to weigh in.  I knew it would be painful but I also knew I needed to see what temporary gluttony does.  The foods I had eaten were high in sodium and my wedding ring was very tight (it has been loose for quite some time).  Yep.  The scale screamed at me.  I sobbed.  I was full of regret.

So guess what?!  I headed to the gym this morning!  (I had made excuses not to go on Tuesday - Thursday.)  I decided today would be a good day to try another piece of equipment so I got on the elliptical.  Wow!  That 5 minutes that I was able to do it were quite the work out!  I am going to add that to my daily routine and work at increasing the time I am on it as well as keep the treadmill (which I did 12 minutes at 3.4 mph and 10 minutes at 3.3 mph plus warm up and cool down) and I will continue to tread water (did 35 minutes today).  When I was done, I felt awesome!  My bottom hurts...more muscles were used and I am feeling it so sitting is painful again, but I needed that workout to encourage me that I have totally failed at this.  There will be days I mess up.  It is ok.  The test comes when I choose to NOT give up.  Being a perfectionist and a lot OCD, it is hard to not give up and call it a failure when I mess up.  The trying of our faith works patience.  James, in the Bible, sums it up well.  I have also started listening to a 13 weeks seminar by Jim Berg from his book Changed Into His Image while I exercise.  I have read the book twice so when I found this seminar available for free, I had downloaded it to my iPod a while back.  I was so encouraged as I listened to it today.  I need that so much now that I am done with the Setting Captives Free, the Lord's Table study.  One point that has stuck out to me every time I have read this book is the reminder that "The real problems go much deeper and reminds us of an important Bible principle to understand about change:  Our greatest problems are never around us, they are in us." (page 3)   We sin because each of us has a sinful heart.  It is that simple.  Change involves going to battle against ourselves and our own desires verses what God desires of us.  It is grace that enables us.  Grace that never gives up on us.