I just realized I forgot to post my weigh in yesterday. I have disposed of yet another regained pound. After having a fun girls night out last Friday evening, I thought I was doomed but I knuckled down and made up for it. I don't think I have ever eaten so many fruits and green beans ever in a week... (those on weight watchers will understand why that is funny). This past week has also been a pivotal point once again in this journey....
It never ceases to amaze me how when we choose to walk in obedience, the devil will use whatever means to attempt to get a foothold. For me this past week that was very evident through parenting challenges that drive me to the pantry for comfort if I let it. Each day I could see it building and each day I knew would need to keep my focus on the eternal things and not on the challenge at hand if I were going to succeed and not indulge in the pantry. I am also understanding why my Heavenly Father, in His wisdom, chose to give me such a strong willed child. It forces me to make choices. It forces me to realize that in order to lose the weight, I need to not seek comfort in food when challenges arise. For this I am grateful. When my heart is gripped in fear at the choices I see my child make and there is nothing I can do about it but trust and pray, that is where there is peace. My daughter is right...I am not her birth mom. God in His wisdom provided her a way out of despicable circumstances and until she comes to terms with that, there will be discontentment in her heart. Her words hurt. Words I cannot put here because it would open wounds that very deep seeded within me...but God knows. Even in adoption, it was a step of obedience on my part and I have trust that regardless of the outcome, I have done just that...walked in obedience. Some day she may realize what she was spared from. I have shared with her the cold hard facts of where she came from but she refuses to believe it for now. When typing this, once again I am reminded that there are times that I hurt my Savior with my attitudes and actions at times because I think my way is better. I know several of you who read my blog have also adopted children. I know a few of you can even related to the heartache I feel at times. God is always wise in what He does...always. Sometimes that is the only promise that keeps me from throwing in the towel, physically, emotionally, and Spiritually. I hope that sharing all this gives some of you hope. This is not a path I would choose and yet it is a path designed specifically for me and how can I forsake that? Joy is not based on how I feel from one moment to the next. Joy is based in Christ alone. To know, like Paul, how to be brought low, and how to abound....to do all things through Christ.
I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Notwithstanding ye have well done, that ye did communicate with my affliction. ~Philippians 4:12-14
I have been blessed with my like minded friends who encourage me to keep the faith and fight the good fight....and they pray for me. That makes this journey much less lonely.
In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.
No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.
(verses 1 and 4 from the hymn "In Christ Alone")
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