The Spirit is Very Willing...

...but boy has the flesh been weak!

Warning:  This post is blatantly honest.
 

You know that reset button?  I have hit it so many times the past couple weeks that I fear it will wear out.  But alas, I have not given up completely.  My heel has been yelping in pain from the gain.  My low back screams in disgust from the gain.  It is time to do what it takes.  Surrender.  Complete surrender of heart and self.  God knows how hard surrender can be so He give us hope.  "My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" Psalm 73:26.  I know it takes a continual surrender to do this and yet I desire something I know I will completely binge on...and instead of praying about it, I go get it...even if it means going to the store to get it.  Then I not only eat it...I eat it all.  As I sit here typing this, I want to scream "STOP IT!  JUST STOP IT AND DO WHAT IT TAKES!"  Maybe that is because I wish someone would do that me.  And yet it wouldn't help...it would more than likely drive me back to the pantry, sulking.  So my friends, I need you to pray for me to get back on track.  Pray for me to surrender my heart back to the one who can lead me in this journey.  

Now I know some of you are thinking "wow!  Where is her joy now?"  Guess what?  The joy is there.  It never left.  I have been joyfully eating to my hearts desire.  HA HA  (...sometimes a bit a sarcasm at the right time is just the ticket and I needed to throw that in.)  Seriously though, the joy IS still there.  I am counting it all joy in knowing that God hasn't given up on me.   I have a husband who hasn't given up on me either.   

What now?  Well, I am spending some time in prayer, preparing my heart for action.  I can't do this alone.  My normal weigh day has been Friday so this Friday I will once again step on that scale but this time I will pray and surrender it to my Lord.  I will place that number in His lap and take the strength that He will give in return to do this once again.  

We can do this...my Lord and I.